OUR CUP RUNNETH OVER

It has been difficult to write because so much change is occurring.  It takes awhile to assess when one’s cup is overflowing.  

We came across a coping strategy prepared for soldiers and my husband and I tested it before recommending it.  After meditating twice a day for a week, I am becoming more aware of my conscience and making much better decisions in the moment.  I am learning to do what is right without getting caught up in the virtual reality of my thoughts.  In other words, I am making fewer emotional decisions.  I am experiencing  less judgment, less resentment , less anger, less anxiety, less cowardice, more courage, more patience, more immediate forgiveness, more joy, and best of all, more of the Holy Spirit.  If nothing else, a mission would have been worth this metamorphosis.

One interesting insight has been how much resentment I have harbored against Kerry’s military career.  I had no idea.  It just came to the surface one day.  The resentment was the major reason I was having trouble connecting with people, because as soon as I realized it and let it go, I began feeling so much more love and guidance.  Instead of setting goals to be or do something I’m not, I am being still and letting ideas and directions come to me.  For the first time in our married life, my husband and I were able to effortlessly plan our work together.  I could hardly believe it.   

The broad path gets narrower and the narrow path gets broader in terms of personal freedom and power to act, but it’s not apparent at first.  That’s why enduring patience is one of the critical attributes of divine nature.   I was enduring, but not patiently.  DOING strait and narrow is different than BEING strait and narrow.